ALT.GLOSSARY
[contributed by Fritz Washburn,  F-104 pilot]

Airspeed - Speed of an airplane.  Deduct 25% when listening to a Navy pilot  ("Calendar"  for A-10).

Angle of Attack - Pick-up lines that pilots use.

Bank - The folks who hold the lien on most pilots' cars.

Barrel Roll - Sport enjoyed at squadron picnics, usually after the barrels are empty.

Carburetor Icing - A phenomenon happening to Aero club pilots at exactly the same time they run out of gas.

Cone of Confusion - An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon at an airport.

Crab - The squadron Operations Officer.

Dead Reckoning - You reckon correctly, or you are.

Engine Failure - A condition which occurs when all fuel tanks become filled with air.

Firewall - Section of the aircraft specially designed to let heat and smoke enter the cockpit.

Glide Distance - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.

Hydroplane - An airplane designed to land on a wet runway, 20,000 feet long.

IFR - A method of flying by needle and ripcord.

Lean Mixture - Non-alcoholic beer.

Nanosecond - Time delay built into the stall warning system.

Parasitic Drag - A pilot who bums a ride back and complains about the service.

Range - Usually about 30 miles beyond the point where all fuel tanks fill with air.

Rich Mixture - What you order at the other guy's promotion party.

Roger - Used when you're not sure what else to say.

Roll - The first design priority for a fully loaded KC-135A.

Service Ceiling - Altitude at which cabin crews can serve drinks.

Spoilers - The Federal Aviation Administration.

Stall - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.

Steep Bank - Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest.

Tactics - What a clock sounds like when it needs fixing.

Tail Wind - Results from eating beans, often causing Oxygen deficiency in the immediate vicinity.

Turn & Bank Indicator - An instrument highly ignored by pilots.

Useful Load - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight of cargo.

VOR - Radio navigation aid, named after the VORtex effect of pilots trying to home in on it.

Yankee - Any pilot that asks Houston tower to "Say again".

Zero - Style and artistry points earned for a gear-up landing.