Actual maintenance complaints    
submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews.

 

Squawk: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Reply: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

 

Squawk: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Reply: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

 

Squawk #1: "#2 propeller seeping prop fluid."
Reply: "#2 propeller seepage normal."

Squawk #2: "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

 

Squawk: "The autopilot doesn’t."
Reply: "It does now."

 

Squawk: "Something loose in cockpit."
Reply: "Something tightened in cockpit."

 

Squawk: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Reply: "Evidence removed."

 

Squawk: "Number three engine missing."
Reply: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

 

Squawk: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Reply: "Volume set to more believable level."

 

Squawk: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Reply: "Live bugs on order."

 

Squawk: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces 200 fpm descent."
Reply: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

 

Squawk: "IFF inop."
Reply: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

 

Squawk: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Reply: "That’s what they’re there for."